Jealous Newlywed Refuses to Leave Tip for Flirtatious Server

Photo: Screengrab

Restaurant receipts aren’t technically a soapbox to express emotions and thoughts, but that doesn’t stop some people.

According to Fox40, a newlywed wife used a receipt this past weekend to take her anger and jealousy out on a server. The woman, who is referred to as Jenny, was dining at a restaurant in Ohio with her husband and another couple. The newlywed couple were apparently there “celebrating their honeymoon.” Server Jessica Morris wrote in a now deleted Facebook post that she thought the night had gone smoothly, but when she saw the check, it came with a big fat zero for a tip and a not-so-kind note: “He’s my husband, go find your own. Good luck =).”

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Morris says that when she sat the table and learned that they were newlyweds, she revealed that she was also a newlywed herself and thought that the table heard her. Morris explains in her Facebook post that to make money waitressing “you have to be nice, and show personality,” two things Jenny interpreted as flirting. Jenny was upset that Morris and her husband developed a small inside joke:

“So, this lady (Jenny) and her husband place their order and she asks me what my name is. I tell her “Jessica” she responds with, “oh, we don’t really like that name. Can we call you Jess” and I laughed and said “yeah, you can call me anything you want. I’ll even respond with a**hole.” In which her husband laughs and proceeds to call me that throughout the whole experience we had as server and guests.”

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To make it all worse, Morris writes, on top of leaving her no tip, Jenny also stole Morris’s last pen, officially making her the worst kind of customer.

In response to the tip stiffing, Morris posted an open letter to Jenny and held back no punches in the process. Turns out a male server also working that night is Morris’ husband. She writes that he she “found [my husband] on my own, and [he] looks better than yours.” Morris then throws in a brag about how her husband treated her to a cruise for their honeymoon, not just meal at a restaurant in Ohio with another couple. Ouch.

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Morris leaves Jenny with one last piece of surprisingly sage life advice: “So Jenny, here’s a life tip for you from me, your insecurity as a woman is heartbreaking. Have pride in yourself and your relationship with YOUR husband to where you don’t need to put another down to bring yourself up.” Someone needs to turn that into a poster.

Japanese Porn Star Opens Restaurant Serving Curry That Tastes Like Poop

One of Japan’s most popular porn stars has opened a restaurant that might flush your appetite down the toilet. CNN notes that Ken Shimizu, more commonly known by his screen name Shimiken, is Japan’s “king of porn” and a new restaurateur. His Tokyo restaurant, Curry Shop Shimizu, is getting a lot of attention for its curry dish that supposedly mimics actual poop. Hiroki Okada, the restaurant’s manager, explains that the restaurant is an “attempt to satisfy an unlikely lifelong desire to find out what excrement tastes like.”

(Screenshot via CNN)

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The curry—which “deliberately mimics the texture and flavor of feces”—is brown, sloppy, and stinky. It takes a slew of ingredients to create the poopiness including onion, minced chicken, bitter gourd, cocoa powder, carrot, bitter green tea, and curry powder. The restaurant adds kusaya, “a sun-dried salted horse mackerel that gives off the smell of dog dung,” for an extra pungent kick. To really drive the point home, the curry is served in a toilet bowl.

While Okada doesn’t claim to have done any research into the taste of excrement for the restaurant, he says that Shimiken is already a bonafide expert. The Daily Mail notes that the porn star allegedly got his start in a film where he ate feces. Okada alleges that since then “Shimiken has eaten feces many times — 250 people’s — so he can examine whether the curry taste the same as the real thing.”

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So can a restaurant that sells poop curry really sustain itself? Okado says that since the curry house opened in August, it has developed a roster of loyal customers, some of whom “visit the restaurant every day.” The team behind the curry restaurant adds that of the 300 customers that visited the restaurant in its first month, over 90 percent have managed to slurp their toilet bowls of poop curry clean.

While that may be the case, the concept still appears difficult to swallow even in a country that is very accepting of err, non-traditional, takes on popular dishes: Japan is home to a spa that offers pork broth-based ramen baths, after all. But even bathing with gooey and slimy noodles for the sake of beauty is tame compared to seeking out, paying for, and eating feces mimicking curry on purpose.

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Burger King is Bringing Its Black-Bun Whopper to US

You no longer have to travel to Japan to try BK’s murdered-out hamburger.

Written by Zachary Harris

Burger King is going goth this Halloween. The chain will be offering a black Whopper, according to The Telegraph and a Reddit user claiming to have access to Burger King’s internal website

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Not much has been released about the “spooky” cheeseburger, but we do know the ‘HA.1.Loween Whopper’ will be a regular patty sandwiched between two dyed-black buns, with lettuce, tomato, mayo, pickles, onions, American cheese (sorry, it’s not black), and A1 steak sauce.

This isn’t the first time Burger King has changed the colors of its buns. A BK burger with black buns, black cheese, and squid-ink sauce was released in Japan one year ago. In Japan, the buns are dyed using traditional bamboo charcoal.

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Photo: Facebook/ Burger King Japan

Burger King has also released a limited-edition red bun ‘Samurai Burger’ in Japan as well as a green-bun burger in Saudi Arabia.

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There is no word on whether the buns on America’s black burgers will be dyed with bamboo charcoal, regular charcoal, or squid ink, but our best guess is food coloring because Americans are easy.

BK will also offer a limited-edition holiday beverage, the Pumpkin Spiced Oreo Milkshake, because literally every brand ever is now capitalizing on the pumpkin craze.

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Is America ready for the black bun? We’ll finally get to find out. The burger should be available in the U.S. on Halloween, but still no word on how long the special release will last for.

S’mores-Chicken and Bacon-Burger Shakes

Food photographer Alana Dimou tops a shake with rotisserie chicken and marshmallows, because why not.

Written by Sienna Hill

Photos Courtesy ofAlana Bread

Aussies have proven once again that no one can make a milkshake like they can down under.

After a café located in Canberra, Australia introduced massive milkshakes nicknamed “The Freakshow” last month, many were inspired to create similar milkshakes of their own.

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The trend motivated food photographer Alana Dimou to craft unconventional “extreme” milkshakes as an ode to Aussie’s newfound passion for the delectable drinks.

The next-level milkshakes include three original flavors, including: S’mores Chicken, Bacon Burger, and Coles “Baked Fresh Today” Bakery Aisle.Dimou explains to Grub Street that the focus of each art piece is on the delectable treats that tower above the milkshake, rather than the milkshake itself. The garnishes range from a full roast chicken combined with roasted marshmallows to an eight-patty bacon cheeseburger staked high above a strawberry milkshake.
As the milkshake craze continues, it’s no surprise the Australian daily sugar intake (40 teaspoons) has now doubled that of the daily American average (20 teaspoons).

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If you’re looking to recreate one of these masterpieces at home, all you’ll need is a mile-high burger, a roast chicken, or a smorgasbord of sweet breakfast items to stack on top of your favorite milkshake.

The Fat Jew

Seamless says it has no current plans to work with The Fat Jew in the future—but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Written by Sienna Hill

The public recently figured out that The Fat Jew is making a living off of plagiarized jokes and memes.

After The Fat Jew signed a deal with Creative Artists Agency, hundreds of people began angrily tweeting at and reaching out to Josh Ostrovsky, the man behind The Fat Jew, demanding to be credited for their work.
The Fat Jew taught us all a lesson in the consequences of plagiarism. Ostrovsky offered a clunky apology to Vulture, and began giving people credit for their jokes, but it was too late—the plagiarism charges had already begun stripping him of business opportunities.

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Seamless is cutting all ties with The Fat Jew, who served as the face of the company’s recent ad campaign. And Kenji López-Alt, the brain behind the Serious Eats column The Food Lab, recently announced that he is canceling his involvement with the 2015 NYC Wine and Food Festival ramen party after The Fat Jew was added as a host to the event.

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López-Alt explains in a Facebook post that he and the Serious Eats team were responsible for planning and organizing the NYWFF ramen party event, but they had no idea about The Fat Jew’s involvement in the event. Kenji’s post points out that this is another case in which Ostrovsky takes credit for something that doesn’t belong to him. He says,

“Serious Eats and I came up with the idea and executed all of the planning and organization. It was marketed with my name, my book, and Serious Eats from the get-go… It was last Monday that I opened up the event’s official website and saw not our even, but The Fat Jew’s ramen party. His face, his name, all listed above ours, despite the fact that we were neither consulted nor alerted to his involvement in the event.”

 

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In two post updates, Kenji notes that Jin, Ivan Ramen, Mu Ramen, and Sun Ramen have also cancelled their involvement with the event.

[via Facebook/The Food Lab]

Correction: A previous version of the story incorrectly mentioned that the talent agency Ostrovsky reportedly signed with, Creative Artists Agency, had dropped him. As of this writing, he’s still with CAA.

Watch Jacques La Merde’s Cheeky Tasting Menu Poke Fun at High-End Dining

by Eater Staff Aug 24, 2015, 12:04p

The Instagram-famous chef’s meal features Velveeta, Klondike Bars, and other low-brow ingredients.

Attention trendsetters: presenting chef Jacques La Merde‘s first-ever tasting menu. Known for the popular Instagram account featuring hot takes on fine dining using basic ingredients, the chef has now created a timeless menu featuring Hostess Zinger cakes, Spam, and Bumble Bee tuna — it’s a meal from which junk food dreams and fast food cravings are made, and you can experience it here in just 60 seconds.

The Menu

Bumble Bee Fugue

Bumble Bee tuna salad compose, Velveeta cheese fondue, pickle enhancement, macedoine of Slim Jims, Wishbone caesar spheres, purple flower heads

Friday Nite Bites

Sysco Foods Imperial battered mozzarella sticks on a sea of obligatory marinara, Utts onion dip rimmer, beef jerky points, pepperoni pizza Combos, Keebler cheese and peanut butter sandwich cracker soil, Kraft 100% parmesan grated cheese snow

Entanglement of Spam

Pave of Spam, steamed crinkle-cut adult carrots, mayonnaise adjustment, cheddar-flavored Cheeze-It Crunch’d, purple lettuce thoughts, canola oil powder, French’s Mustard tears, original Bugles, Bud Light Lime-a-Rita foam

Chicks Ahoy

Renegotiated chirping chicken sandiwch from Grand Central Terminal over a puree of Kraft Mac N’ Cheeze, enhanced with mustard caviar and Cool Ranch Dorito sand

Interstellar Goldrush

Klondike Bar — cut into the shape of a square and with the chocolate peeled off — impaled with shards of s’mores Pop Tarts and Nutter Butters. Nutella smear, honey Smacks, Reddi-Whip moments

Flaming Zinger

Hand-torched Hostess Zinger cake, chunks of Mounds, Vienna fingers, Captain Crunch exclamations, Fruity Pebble back-ups, Vanilla Snack Pack crema, strawberry-kiwi Snapple Air

Spike Seen in Florida Restaurant Closures From More Online Complaints

A Church’s Chicken outlet at 1234 W. Church St. in Orlando, FL, was closed more than any other restaurant in central Florida last year.

That Church’s Chicken location was shut down twice due to consumer complaints and a third time during a routine inspection, according to the Aug. 15 Orlando Sentinel.

During that visit, the state inspector found 14 live roaches throughout the kitchen, dining areas and back offices, and came across a “mold-like substance” in the ice machines.

Church’s Chicken #459 is now on the state’s high priority list, which means it’s been getting more frequent inspections. It was closed again this past June 23 for an insect infestation.

However, that troubled Church’s Chicken location is open again after the franchise owner brought in construction crews and pest control experts to remove walls and eliminate the infestation.

The newspaper’s analysis of the inspection records at the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation found that twice as many central Florida restaurants are being shut down now as there were just five years ago.

State inspectors issued 139 emergency shutdown orders to restaurants between July 2014 and June 2015, according to the report. During a similar one-year period five years ago, there were 67 restaurants shut down from July 2010 to June 2011. A similar pattern was reportedly experienced statewide.

A spokesman for the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation said that a technical fix the state made in early 2014 appears to be responsible for the increased restaurant closures. Prior to that time, the state’s website for consumer restaurant complaints was accessible only to Internet Explorer users. That effectively locked out about 88 percent of all Internet users from accessing the state’s online complaint form. The fix has resulted in a doubling of the number of complaints being filed now versus five years ago.

The state says that the public feedback helps inspectors identify restaurants with the most food safety violations. Routine state inspections result in about one in every 270 restaurants getting an emergency shutdown notice, while the closure rate for restaurants that are the subject of consumer complaints is one in 46.

About 22 percent of the restaurants subjected to consumer complaints get warnings. About 16 percent of central Florida’s restaurants get warnings during their routine inspections.

Also, Florida is doing more frequent inspections on any restaurant that becomes a source of foodborne illnesses or has more frequent violations.

Central Florida’s burgeoning tourist economy supports 11,400 food and beverage establishments.

10 Compelling Reasons to Never Eat in Florida

The Sunshine State may have its charms, but it’s also ground zero for the most f*cked-up food news in America.

Written by Mary Catherine Nanda

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Florida seems to be the epicenter of bizarre, twisted, and unnatural activity. The nation’s most insane news stories usually begin on a Florida mugshot website and wander through the Internet before going viral, reminding you why you don’t visit your grandparents as much as you should. Florida is in many ways like a warped, funhouse-mirror reflection of the rest of America—had we all taken bath salts before entering aforementioned funhouse.

This outlandish behavior extends to all parts of Florida life, including fine and not-so-fine dining. From prostitution busts at Taco Bell to half-naked patrons at McDonald’s, here are 10 very compelling, very real reasons why might want to think twice before eating in Florida.

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1. You Might Have to Give Up BBQ.

Earlier this summer Florida grill master Christ Matt was exercising his American right to BBQ when his neighbor decided to call in an environmental inspector to convince Matt that it was illegal for smoke to leave his property. Immediately stepping in to point out the ridiculousness of the inspector’s claims, Matt’s friend responds, “We can’t control the wind, God does that.” The video above, shot by Matt’s friend, chronicles the grill master’s struggle to survive in the harsh Floridian suburbs. Needless to say, if you’re trying to enjoy basic American pleasures, avoid Florida.

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2. You Could Get Shot in the Face.

While Hooters tends to be a hotbed of both pubescent and prepubescent males, a Hooters in Orlando seems to be packing a bit more heat. According to WESH, a 16-year-old boy was shot in the face in a Hooters parking lot earlier this year. Witnesses to the crime told the Orlando Sentinel that “at least two people were shooting.” While the circumstances are vague, getting shot in the face is definitely a compelling reason to not eat in Florida. (Photo: Wikipedia)

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3. Prostitution Busts

In a Yelp review of a Fort Lauderdale Taco Bell, user Dave M. stated, “For anyone visiting Fort Lauderdale, I would highly recommend that they make sure to experience Taco Bell not only for the nourishment but also for an experience they won’t soon forget.” Swerve. Dave M. may just seem like a normal guy concerned with the disparities of nutrients and fresh ingredients between various chain restaurant locations. This, however, is a fallacy. Dave M. was most likely referring to a prostitution ring that was recently busted at said Fort Lauderdale Taco Bell. Fort Lauderdale cops disguised as prostitutes were approached by two men interested in some action, and well, they got a little more than what they wanted. If you aren’t hoping to engage in acts more sensual than biting into a crisp Doritos Locos Taco, Florida might not be your place. (Photo: Wikipedia/Kay Chernush)

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4. Their Waters Are Filled with Giant Sea Monsters.

If Taco Bell and Hooters had you scared, taking dinner into your own hands might not be the best option, either. Fisherman Steve Bergeron caught what definitely looks like a sea monster off the coast of Fort Pierce, Florida. Photos of the beast made their way to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, where scientists think (keyword) the animal is Lysiosquilla scabricauda, or Scaly-tailed Mantis Shrimp. Until scientists come to an exact conclusion, it might be wise to stay clear of anything lurking in Florida waters. (Photo: Facebook)

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5. You Could Get Hit By A Car Before You Place Your Order.

Sometimes the thirst for fast food can lead to a misdemeanor. While the Taco Bell in Coral Springs has an active, ready-to-use drive-thru, one woman took matters into her own hands and cut out the middleman by plowing through a Taco Bell. According to NBC Miami, Nicole Peterson decided to stop by the chain after having a few beers at a nearby establishment. Peterson and her car went through the restaurant until she stopped at a soda fountain for some much-needed refreshment. We typically like to avoid dodging cars while waiting for our quesadillas. (Photo: Flickr/ Dave S.)

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6. Crazed Naked People.

Taco Bell is a definite no-go, but McDonald’s might not be a safe-haven either. Last year a woman burst into a McDonald’s in St. Petersburg, crazed and half-naked, demanding food. While this is the emotional state many of us first entered this world in, it’s not a spectacle worth recreating at a local McDonald’s. In a LiveLeak video, the woman can be seen throwing cash registers off the counter, catapulting trays, and eating soft-serve directly from the machine. While many of us are occassional late-night McDonald’s patrons, this video offers scared-straight footage that reminds us of the dangers that come with both midnight food cravings and dining in Florida. (Photo: LiveLink)

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7.Having Your Car Set on Fire.

Florida seems to have a freaky full-moon effect on late-night fast-food goers. While we all have emotional, maybe gut-wrenching responses to being denied food, one Florida woman took it to the next level and decided to set her friend’s car on fire after he refused to buy her a McFlurry, effectively turning the McDonald’s into a scene from Grand Theft Auto 5. The woman doused her friend’s car in gasoline before lighting a match and watching it burn. By the time the police showed up, the woman had disappeared. While we would have loved to watch the visual effects and slo-mo turnaround that must have occurred when she fled the burning vehicle, we’d rather have our McFlurry trips drama-free and fire-proof. (Photo: Wikipedia/ Aaron Logan)

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8. You Could Be Offered a Live Shark.

In another unusual display of Florida marine life, one man brought a live shark outside a grocery store in the hopes of selling it to patrons. The Sun Sentinel writes that after catching the shark off the Intercostal Waterway, Patrick Lanier “felt like a leprechaun” and decided to sell his lucky catch. More surprisingly, after nobody seemed interested, Lanier put the shark back in his car and eventually released it back into Florida waters. We’d like our interactions with live sharks to remain non-existent, making this a pretty compelling reason not to venture to a Florida supermarket anytime soon. (Photo: Flickr/ Joi Ito)

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9. God Doesn’t Want You To.

It seems like no chain restaurant is safe. Adding to the pyro displays in chain restaurants, a Wendy’s in Gainseville, Florida felt the wrath of God as a lightning bolt was unleashed on the fast-food location. The video above shows the exact moment the lightning hits the Wendy’s, illuminating the restaurant and parking lot in a fiery red glow.

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10. There Might Be Worms in Your McChicken Sandwich.

While many McDonald’s trips can feel like an emotional journey leading to some sort of self-realization, one woman reached an unsettling discovery when she ordered chicken sandwiches at a McDonald’s in Jacksonville. According to a local Fox station in Jacksonville, Joyce Fedd found not one, but two worms inside of her McDonald’s McChicken sandwich. Worms are disgusting; no one wants to eat those, unless René Redzepi foraged them. And you should be especially wary of Florida worms, which could be hyped up on flakka and eat your face off. (Photo: Flickr)

Farmers Sneak Cows into Supermarket to Protest Milk Prices

Two cows led a trail of 70 people up and down the aisles of the Walmart-owned Asda supermarket.

Written by Sienna Hill

Farmers in the UK are protesting low milk prices by leading dairy cows through supermarkets. A protest began at Walmart-owned Asda supermarket in Stafford, where two cows led a trail of 70 people into the grocery store.

Protesters began clearing the shelves of what they believe to be underpriced milk while leading cows up and down the aisles. Asda currently charges customers 89 pence (or $1.38 USD) for four pints of milk, which farmers believe to be much too low. It costs farmers between 30 pence and 35 pence to produce a liter of milk, and they’re only being paid 23 pence per litre.

One protester states, “If milk starts that cheap, in 6 months time there will be no fresh milk for this country.”

The protest was organized and calm, and the protesters were courteous to make room for shoppers to pass. When security began forcing the cattle out of the store, the farmers politely asked the guards to be gentle with the cows.

This is not the first time a protest has been staged involving dairy cows. Earlier this month, BBC reported a protest almost identical in nature at grocer chain Morrison’s.

KFC just unleashed pink and black chicken burgers in China in an attempt to improve sales.

Written by Sienna Hill

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KFC recently debuted black and pink chicken burgers on its menu in China. To us, the pink-bunned, rose-flavored burger looks more like something that should be on the menu at a Killa Cam-themed fast food joint.

KFC’s “Black Diamond Bacon Spicy Chicken Burger” and the “Rose Cheese Roasted Chicken Burger” join the likes of other brightly colored fast-food sandwiches, including Burger King Japan’s all-red “Samurai Chicken” sandwich and the all-black-everything “Kuro Burger,” which features a slice of black cheese and a black bun.

According to Business Insider, KFC China has been stuck in a downward spiral for the last three years; the fried-chicken chain is attempting to drive sales by offering the two unique sandwiches.

Unfortunately for KFC, it looks as though customers aren’t sure what to think about the new burger colors.